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SC
Falcon player profiles
Dave French |
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Strikingly
handsome with the body of a Greek god, the good looking Ronaldinho
with footballing skills to match, and a man with the sexual prowess
of a rabbit on Viagra. All of these statements could not be applied to Dave French. |
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Whenever
Dave pulls on the SC Falcon shirt he plays football with a unique
level of bravery which has led to him taking some heavy knocks,
knocks which he is quick to point out are all for the greater good
of the team. These include taking a ferocious blast in the face
while forming a wall for a free kick and the infamous "club
foot" incident. Others might point to Dave's clumsiness and laziness
as the underlying reasons for the injuries he sustains.
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Dave has been sporting the hairstyle of Fido (cartoon character from the 7-Up commercials) for most of his life as a result of losing a dare at the heavily subscribed annual Torquay Utd fan's party. He bet the only other person that turned up that he could go a whole five minutes without mentioning the two goals he scored against Sporting Tooting...and lost. |
Emanating
from the South West has not stopped Dave from participating in the
latest fashion trends from London. He has recently been seen swaying
away in his dungarees to the latest tune by The Wurzels. Dave also
has an abnormally large collection of Wellington boots, which he
doesn't like talking about. His favourite joke is, "What do you call a bloke from Devon with 200 girlfriends?" - "A Shepherd". |
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