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SC
Falcon player profiles
Jonathan Brooker |
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Unable
to play football and afflicted with an unfortunate disorder which
rendered him unable to enter a barbers shop, Jonathan was only accepted
as a Falcon on the basis that his youthful complexion and girly
long hair could allow the team access to a mixed league should the
Millennium league prove too tough. However, frequent niggling injuries
to unfit and hung over players meant his almost comical footballing
skills and equine locks became an increasingly frequent sight on
the pitch, and he slowly established himself as the only player
who would even attempt to fill the problem left back spot in the
otherwise sturdy Falcons defence. His comedy goal-line antics saw
him finish second top scorer for the Falcons in the first season.
Sadly all of the goals were in his own net. From here things could
only get better, and Jonathan was voted "Most improved player"
in the 2001/2002 season. |
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Fortified
by his success, Jonathan has since overcome his fear of barbers
and formally resigned as club mascot in order to concentrate on
his football. Having destroyed the team's chances of getting accepted
into a mixed league, he is hoping the Falcons have a good season
before they replace him with a real girl. He dreams of one day scoring
in the opposition net rather than his own. The team hopes that his
power was not locked, Tim Sherwood like, in his hair because they
really can't cope with the thought of him being even worse than
he has been in the previous two seasons. |
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